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Aire Waves
Leeds Canoe Club Blog. We paddle... lots!
Airewaves used to be Leeds Canoe Club's magazine letting people know what the club was upto. Its quite hard work pulling together a publication letting people know what the club is doing and publishing dates in advance is always hard as things tend to change. Step forth the blog.. Push button publishing for the masses. So here is the idea a few people in the club take it in turns to write up trips and talk about things in the club.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009Re: last Sunday's Beginner's Trip (or: Paddling de Nile)
Hi All,
Following the Martin's recent blog entry, I feel that as chairman I should make the club's position clear on this sorry situation.
These problems first began a few years ago when Martin Thornton purported to have had a life-threatening encounter with a small vole. Now we all know that none but the most athletic water vole is likely to create enough of a bow-wave to upset a grown man, but at the time we were willing to suspend our disbelief. And Martin was certainly upset.
Things went largely quiet (apart from the odd hangnail - Airwaves August 31st 2005) until earlier this year, when during the Lakes Weekend, Martin bizarrely announced that he had been interfered with by a rock troll on the Duddon (Airwaves January 27th 2009). He even produced photographic evidence to support this wild allegation, which may have taken in more than a few of you at the time, but the photo has since been confirmed by experts from Kodak to be a very professional forgery. Suffice to say, the police have now dropped their enquiries, especially as the troll in question had a cast iron alibi - being out of the country at the time.
And now this latest incident - 'ducks who don't want to get their knees wet'! Well, something has obviously finally tipped Martin over the edge.
As Martin is now beginning to present a very real danger (and navigation hazard) to both himself and indeed other paddlers, I have taken it upon myself to arrange a consultation for him at the Yorkshire Centre for Paddling Disorders (based at the renowned Vesper Gate Clinic for the Terminally Knackered in Leeds). In order to not upset Martin unduly, I will tell him that it is a coach mentoring session - please back me up in this small white lie should Martin mention it to you.
Thank you for your continued patience in this matter.
Regards,
Steve Henderson, Chairman, Leeds Canoe Club
P.S. following informal discussion of the case with consultants at the YCPD, the experts believe that Martin is suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Swimming Syndrome, a rare but serious condition, possibly brought on by extreme swim envy when Martin subconsciously realised he was unable to compete with Your Chairman in the annual swim count. Everyone please observe Richard Gatehouse closely in the coming months in case a similar pattern of symptoms should manifest.
Comments:Sounds like our Chairman is desperately trying to avoid next years duck award by scandalously suggesting that myself or Martin could possibly compete with Steve's swim count.Post a Comment
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